Sleep
by Lady Nyneve
Summary: Oneshot! In the wake of the war against Voldemort, Harry's left with more than just a few scars. His lover is in a coma without the slightest chance of pulling through. There is nothing left for Harry in this world. Full sum & warnings inside!


**Title: **Sleep

**Author:** Lady Nyneve

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer:** All owned by the fabulous J.K. Rowling. I own only the plot. The song ("Sleep") is by My Chemical Romanceand is on their CD "The Black Parade."

**Warnings: **Story is angsty! Suicide warning!!! There is implied slash (Harry/Draco, Remus/Severus) as well as the mention of many deaths (major and minor characters). If you NO like, then you NO read!!!!

**Summary: **Songfic! One-shot! In the wake of the war against Voldemort, Harry is left with more than just a few scars. His lover is in a coma without the slightest chance of pulling through; many of his friends and love ones are either dead or dieing. There is nothing left for Harry in this world, both Wizerding and Muggle alike. Story inspired by the song "Sleep" by My Chemical Romance.

**A/N:** Not HBP or DH compliant.

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

_Sleep_

"Draco… I need you to forgive me. My love, I'm sorry for all that's happened," whispered Harry at Draco's bedside. "No one deserves what has happened to you, to Ron, to Hermione… They say that you have no chance of pulling through… I don't know what would become of me if you were taken away," tears now pouring freely from his blood shot eyes.

Harry looked like he hadn't slept in days, and he really hadn't. In the wake of the war, so many wounded and dead, the few that survived the final battle had little time to rest. Like Remus with Severus; Harry was at his lover's bedside. He hadn't had more than six hours of sleep in past four days, since he had carried Draco's limp body into St. Mungo's. He hadn't showered, hadn't shaved, and had barely eaten anything. He had prayed to whatever deity that would listen, that Draco would come out of his coma. But, it had all been in vain. The healer that had been assigned to Draco's case had informed the raven-haired savior only an hour prior, that Draco wasn't expected to survive the next week in his current state.

The healers had done everything possible to help heal the blond, all to no avail. Being hit with multiple cutting curses, Crucios, and many yet to be identified jinxes, had left Draco on the brink of death. Seventeen hours and five healers later, Draco was left in a coma, floating in limbo. Outside wounds had been healed, internal bleeding seized, and bones reset; yet there had been too much brain damage and scarring to vital organs that no potion or spell could mend.

Now, four days after the end of that forsaken war, Harry had been told that his fiancé wouldn't survive. That had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Harry had lost a lot of things to the war. He had lost his professor and mentor, his two best friends, his godfather, his parents… a normal life. He had nearly lost his sanity during the past year, while the blood and gore haunted both his days and nights. He had been on the brink of insanity, but had survived.

And the reason he had survived was currently lying in a hospital bed, looking pale as snow, in a comatose state. He had nothing left to live for now. The love of his life; his once schoolyard rival; the only constant in his life since the age of eleven, was about to die. How was Harry supposed to go on?

Nothing mattered anymore; not the outside world, not the genocidal ideals of a madman, not the hopeful notions of an old coot, and certainly not the wishes of normality made by a nineteen-year-old boy. He had beaten the snake like demon that had been Lord Voldemort; had seized the misery of the wizarding world! He had served his purpose! He was supposed to have a normal life now! Instead, he was left to mourn the lives of the ones he loved. He couldn't take this anymore.

"If you could please just open your eyes, all would be different. Please, Dray, just open your eyes…" chocking out the words, Harry gasped for breath holding Draco's hand. "Draco, if you left, I would have nothing left to live for. I'm already considering the unthinkable… If you leave me…I will go after you. Nothing matters to me anymore, except you," another chocking sob escaped his lips.

"Dray, I wouldn't survive without you… Do you understand?! I wouldn't survive; not a day, and certainly not the rest of my life! You were the one that kept me sane this whole time… Even while we we're in Hogwarts... You were the one who kept me sane! This whole time, it's been you," a sad smile appeared on his tear streaked face. "From the moment we met, you have been my only constant. When Hermione and Ron faltered, I always knew you'd be there. It didn't matter that you were a prat, always picking a fight. At least I knew you would never leave, that you'd always be around."

"When we finally stopped fighting and became friends, it was the same. You were always there, always! You were my shoulder to cry on when no one else cared… Then, when we finally got together, you were my strength. This past year with you has been like a dream come true," yet another heart wrenching sob resonated through the room. "We were supposed to get married! Be together for the rest of eternity! You can't leave me now…" the last coming out as a cry of agony.

"Please, Draco. Don't do this to me! I can't live without you…" said Harry, this time ending in a weak whisper. Harry eventually cried himself to sleep in the chair he occupied.

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

_One week later…_

It had been a week since receiving the news of Draco's eminent death. It had completely broken Harry to hear it, but he had somehow managed to pull himself together, somewhat. Since then he had been forced to go home, by Remus, in order to get some rest, shower, and eat a proper meal. This had given Harry a chance to catch up with what had been happening outside the walls of St. Mungo's. There had been many rogue Death Eaters caught during the time he had spent at Draco's side. The death toll had also increased, not that there had been more killings, but there had been more bodies found amongst the rubble.

Many had come to him giving their sympathy: sympathy which was not welcome. The last thing Harry wanted now was anyone feeling sorry for him. Ginny had tried to console him, telling him that it wasn't the end of the world and that life would go on. But Harry did not listen, because for him, loosing Draco would be the end of the world. Nothing else mattered in the forefront of his mind, but the weakened blond laying in a hospital bed.

He had currently been sitting at Draco's bedside for the past four hours without having moved a muscle in that time. He had no more tears to shed, no more pleading cries. He had rung himself dry during the past week and a half. All he could do now was just sit, wait, and stare; hoping with all his being that his love would come back to him.

Silence.

Deep…all consuming… silence.

Harry blinked. Something was wrong. Where was the constant beeping that had been Harry's sole companion during the last 11 days? The incessant beeping that had assured Harry that Draco was still breathing.

Silence.

Then the door banged open, and as if a silent alarm had gone off, the room was filled by about a dozen healers all swarming around Draco's pale form.

But still, silence was all Harry heard. Even though he could clearly see the healers' mouths moving, he could not hear what they were saying. Even as a nurse ushered him out of the room, telling him they needed to work on Draco and he was just in the way, all Harry could comprehend was that the silence meant that Draco was slipping, and fast.

And still silence.

He could not hear the reassuring words that spilled forth from Remus' mouth as he waited outside Draco's room. Nor could he hear Ginny's pleas for him to go home and get some rest, or to at least eat the food she'd brought him.

All he could hear was silence.

Three hours had gone past, and still he knew nothing apart from that silence. No nurse or healer had given any news of Draco's current condition. Hospital personnel had been streaming in and out of the room nonstop, but yet no news had been delivered.

Then it came. All movement ceased. The Head healer exited Draco's room and advanced towards the raven haired hero.

And all sound returned.

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter. We could do nothing for him."

And it hit him like a freight train right to the middle of the chest.

Everything seemed amplified. Harry could feel everyone's stares as if they were searing into him very flesh. He could hear the frantic beating of his heart blur with the sound of breathing from all the other occupants in the room. He could smell and taste his own salty tears from days before mingle with Ginny's nauseatingly sweet perfume.

It was at that moment when something broke. Something deep within Harry's chest just…gave way. Like a damn that had long since been sealed, just cracked under the immense pressure and let thousands of tons of water rush through its gates.

Except, no tears came. No cries of agony and pain escaped his dry throat.

All that came was numbness so cold and dead, that it left his insides feeling utterly empty. His heart, like a cobweb filled attic, dusty and unused.

"Can I see him?" was all that was spoken into the dead silence of the room.

"I can give you a few minutes before he is taken to the morgue."

And so he walked into the room and closed the door.

There, laying on the hospital bed and tucked into a sterile, white hospital sheet, was Draco. His face pale, lips blue. He looked like an angel. The angle Harry had fallen in love with not but twelve months prior.

His constant…gone.

Cold.

Dead.

A single, solitary tear fell down Harry's cheek. And his legs moved involuntarily toward the bed.

Again, the silence reigned. Until broken by a rasping voice Harry at first didn't recognize to be his own.

"I'm sorry…"

Silence.

"I'm sorry that you ever had to get dragged into this mess."

Silence.

"I am so sorry, my love…but at least you are no longer suffering."

Silence.

"I promise I will be with you soon."

And with that final promise, Harry leaned toward his fallen angel, kissed his cold dead lips, and whispered in his ear.

"Just sleep my darling, and I will be with you soon." With that, Harry disapperated out of St. Mungo's.

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

The next morning, Harry was found in his flat, laying on the floor in his bedroom holding a picture of him and Draco to his chest with one hand and his wand in the other. Next to him lay a crumpled and tear stained peace of paper along with a half empty bottle of Firewhiskey.

On the peace of paper, written in smudged ink, was a brief note:

_Don't cry for me, for I am undeserving of your sympathy._

_I do not regret what I've done by leaving this world._

_For, as I walked away a savior, I also walked away a murderer._

_But, now I can finally rejoin my love for all eternity._

_Don't cry for me._

_Just let me sleep._

_HJP_

When Ministry officials cast a _Prior Incantato_ on Harry's wand, what came out shocked everyone. A green mist escaped the end of the wand and briefly took the shape of a skull and cross bones before fading into nothing. The unspoken words '_Avada Kedavra' were left hanging in the air._

"_**Sleep"**_

_**by My Chemical Romance**_

_Some say, now suffer all the children  
And walk away a savior,  
Or a madman and polluted  
From gutter institutions.  
Don't you breathe for me,  
Undeserving of your sympathy,  
Cause there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did._

And through it all  
How could you cry for me?  
Cause I don't feel bad about it.  
So shut your eyes,  
Kiss me goodbye,  
And sleep.  
Just sleep.

The hardest part is letting go of  
Your dreams.

A drink for the horror that I'm in,  
For the good guys, and the bad guys,  
For the monsters that I've been.  
Three cheers for tyranny,  
Unapologetic apathy,  
Cause there ain't no way that I'm coming back again.

And through it all  
How could you cry for me?  
Cause I don't feel bad about it.  
So shut your eyes,  
Kiss me goodbye,  
And sleep.  
Just sleep.

The hardest part  
The awful things that I've seen.

Just sleep.  
Just sleep.  
Just sleep.  
Just sleep.  
Just sleep.  
Just sleep.


End file.
